I Still Look To You Mom

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. Even though I posted this over at Stigma No More, I decided to post it here as well, for those who don't visit my other blog. I have to change the words around so google doesn't consider me a copy cat I learned that from my friend Kat LOL! This morning I was inspired by watching Whitney Houston make her comeback on on Good Morning America. I wish her all the best and I was so touched by this song she sang to her mother. I can't explain it but this song really hits home for me. I hit that point many times when my mother was dying, and a few other loved ones were at the same time. Many times at night when I could not take the pain anymore I just wanted to check myself in Pembroke Hospital and Lay in a bed and be drugged up for a couple of weeks so I did not have to feel the pain anymore. It brings tears to my eyes to think of that time again. But it feels good to open up about it. I never went because I could not leave my mother and mother in law. Whitney's words speak to me as if she knew how I was feeling at the time, my levee's have broken, my walls have come coming down on me crumbling down on me,all the rain is falling the rain is falling, defeat is calling, set me free. The road often led to regrets as well. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I just felt today that I wanted to share with you a time and place in my life. I have carried on and the day's are much brighter and at night I sleep with peace. I still look to you Mom, when I talk to you I know you hear me and I will never forget the time you came to me in my dream, and hugged me it felt so real and said to me it is goodbye for now, not forever. Sometimes when I am really missing her I picture her smiling face next to me in Angel form. It may sound silly to some, but to others they will understand what I mean. I hope you all have that someone you can look to. I like this album some people are saying it is a disappointment. People set expectations to high, how could Whitney ever sound bad??? I read this afternoon that she apologized for her performance on GMA, she has been talking alot to Oprah and others. I still thought she sounded great, looking forward to hearing her at her best LOL!

Thanks for visiting my blog,

Take Care,

Janet:)