Almost 28 Days

Hi Everyone, How have you been?? I missed blogging to you guys so much you have no idea!! I have to be honest with you about where I have been the past 27 days. I was sent to rehab to dry out against my will. I didn't think I was that bad, I did not have to drink day and night but I must say since my mother had her double stroke I have been drinking more often at night to deal with the pain, watching her suffer was the hardest thing I have ever been through. And from there I used it as a crutch for everything. I am angry that I was forced to go because I was voluntarily going tomorrow when I go to court for my DUI. I would have had to do only two weeks in Plymouth Ma Highpoint. Yet my husband did a section 35 on me out of so called concern. I think it was out of control because he knew I was going in July, I shouldn't judge maybe I'm wrong, I just don't know for sure. I was just about to go live in a shelter and because I decided to party a bit, maybe a bit to much LOL!! Because I was free and had been unhappy with him and a lot of people in my life lately, I told a couple of people off too and I have no regrets about that let me tell you. There is so much more I would like to write but I can't at this time. All I can say is I do like being sober today. I watched a lot of videos in group with this man writing on a chalkboard, filled with writing. I thought to myself this is how my mind has been over the past year. Filled with too much thinking, letting to many things and people rent space in my head. I need to erase some of the people, places and things that have been hurting me, confusing me. It's time for me to take care of me, I have moved to Wareham today in my daughters house. I was lucky enough to get unemployment so I have some money saved up to get my license back and then I am going to save some more money to get a studio apartment around here until my apartment comes available for me if need be. They run around 400 to 500 a month, and hopefully I will get a job here soon because it is the busy season here in Onset Center, Christa is just around the corner from it. I can't wait to walk on the beach tonight, I hope the rain lightens up. I just got free from a locked barbed wired building that OMG I could not stand. The women at WATC were wonderful, the program too, I met many brave souls who have abused themselves and or been abused on top of that who are fighting for their lives. They are all my heroes and helped me so much when I needed it. I was in a place of unconditional love and judgement free. I walked in in handcuffs and leg chains, so humiliating, but that is how everyone shows up there. I was lucky there was one cot available, if there was not a cot available for me I would have been sent to Framingham correction facility and made to suffer in a cell all this time, from what I heard ya, I'm pretty sure the whole time!! I walked in there with a zero reading on the Breathalyzer and I was fine the first night but the Librium they put you on put me in a blackout for a week and a half, I had such a bad reaction to it. I was a bastard to everyone. So then when I had the bad reaction to the Lithium they put me on a anti psychotic med, I was really messed up worse in there then when I went in until they finally took me off the meds. I like woke up a week and half, maybe more later thinking I got better in three days!! These videos are for all of my WATC girls, hope all of you are doing good out there, I will be in touch and we will have to do some meetings together. We watched 28 days a few times, love the movie, I highly recommend it just for the laughs but, if you need to watch it for another reason do so too. I will be posting some funny stories from WATC too so stay tuned. Thanks again for all your support!! I will update my other stuff later. I have to share this computer with Christa and Dana, but no complaints from me. Plus I have to spend sometime with my beautiful family that I have cried for every night for the last 27 days :)
Love you all,
Janet xoxo :)