Friday Funnies

Hello, Happy Friday! Considering it was Valentines Day this week I thought would share some funny stories I have read on love and whatnot. I hope no one get's offended by the open letter to G-spot. I think it is an amusing spin on what some women go through. If you hear ads running on my blog when it first loads, I apologize, I don't know where they are coming from. I'm trying to figure that out right now. If any of my fellow bloggers out there know of this problem and how to fix it, please feel free to leave me a comment on how to correct it.
Thanks for visiting,
Janet :)

Naked Bondage Sex Game is Mistaken For
Kidnapping!

They wanted bondage, and they wound up in handcuffs. A Portland, Ore., couple was arrested on Valentine's Day after cops mistook a bound and naked woman in the back of a car for a crime in progress, The Los Angeles Times reported. Nikolas Harbar, 31, was only "role-playing" when he allegedly tied up his naked girlfriend, 26-year-old Stephanie Pelzner and threw her in the back of his Subaru in the early afternoon, according to a police report. But the ball-and-chain action went awry when cops got a call from a concerned witness!

L.A. Weekly

Hollywood madam, Heidi Fleiss and star of HBO’s “Cathouse,” Dennis Hof, are teaming up to create a brothel for the Comic Con set. Naturally, it will be called Alien Cathouse. Ass from space? Different? Hasn't Hof seen classic Star Trek? Anywhoo, Hof says he's inspired by the legend of nearby Area 51. But what we really want to know is why he needs L.A.'s own Fleiss. Sure, it's a match made in pimp/madam heaven. But our guess is this: Given how much work she's had done, Fleiss might be able to double as a genuine space alien attraction!

As reported by WTAE Pittsburgh:

"At Shippensburg University, getting access to Plan B, the emergency contraception pill is as easy as getting a soda. Students can now buy the pill at a vending machine on campus." It's nice to give students such easy access. Because let's be honest, if you're enrolled at Shippensburg University, this isn't the first time in life you've gone with plan B


Dear G-Spot,
Gee G-Spot, you sure know how to disappoint a girl. First you exclaim your existence to the world. Then you hide as my fellow ladies are poked and prodded in search of you. One day you promise earth-shattering gasms, the next you disappear without a trace. A recent review of over 100 studies into your existence has come to the conclusion that there is no proof of it. That you don’t exist. But I don’t think this is the last we’ll hear about you, g-spot. You’ll lay low awhile and then pop back up again, taunting us. Why do you continue to play these games with our emotions? Do you find it humorous that millions of us ladies spend days and nights pondering where you are? Well, I am absolutely fed up with this game now. I will have you know that I haven’t missed you all of these years. From now on, when I have sleepovers, you are uninvited! (Not that you ever showed up or sent a polite “unable to attend.”) Matter of fact, giving up on looking for you may be the best choice I have ever made in my life. You have been hogging the spotlight for so many years that it’s time I gave my attention to those who appreciate it. I am writing you this letter to let you know that I am officially moving on. And it’s not me — it’s you. You can’t decide if you want to be or not be. And that’s cool because I’m not here to judge. Some part of me doesn’t blame you for hiding away. I couldn’t handle being responsible for delivering millions of mind-blowing experiences daily. We don’t even ask that much from Santa Claus and I’ve always thought he was overworked. If ever you do decide to surface — and stay for good – I’ll be here. Just don’t expect me to come looking for you any longer.
Sincerely,
Tiffanie

The Key to a Well-Lived Life: Lighten Up!

Hi, I hope you are all doing well today. I love this article by Elizabeth, it is just what I needed to read today, so I thought I would share it with all of you who, like me, are also stressing yourself sick over fears of inadequacy that Elizabeth talks about. Really, we do all need to lighten up! Remember too, as Oprah say's, "Failure is just a way for our lives to show us we're moving in the wrong direction, that we should try something different." Don't I know that now for sure! Everyday I have to work at being happy where I am now in my life, (as you can tell by my last post) and know I'm doing the best I can at this moment, otherwise I will give up and give into those negative feelings and self doubt, so give it a try if you need too, one day a time.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)



The key to a well-lived life, according to Elizabeth Gilbert: Screw up (often, and boldly), learn from your mistakes, repeat!

Nearly all the women I know are stressing themselves sick over the pathological fear that they simply aren't doing enough with their lives. Which is crazy—absolutely flat-out bananas—because the women I know do a lot, and they do it well. My cousin Sarah, for instance, is earning her master's degree in international relations, while simultaneously working for a nonprofit that builds playgrounds at woefully underfunded public schools. Kate is staying home and raising the two most enchanting children I've ever met—while also working on a cookbook. Donna is producing Hollywood blockbusters; Stacy is running a London bank; Polly just launched an artisanal bakery...

By all rights, every one of these clever, inventive women should be radiant with self-satisfaction. Instead, they twitch with near-constant doubt, somehow worrying that they are failing at life. Sarah worries that she should be traveling around the world instead of committing to a master's degree. Kate worries that she's wasting her education by staying home with her kids. Donna worries that she's endangering her marriage by working such long hours. Stacy worries that the capitalistic world of banking is murdering her creativity. Polly worries that her artisanal bakery might not be quite capitalistic enough. All of them worry that they need to lose 10 pounds.

It's terribly frustrating for me to witness this endless second-guessing. The problem is, I do it, too. Despite having written five books, I worry that I have not written the right kinds of books, or that perhaps I have dedicated too much of my life to writing, and have therefore neglected other aspects of my being. (Like, I could really stand to lose 10 pounds.)

So here's what I want to know: Can we lighten up a little?

As we head into this next decade, can we draft a joint resolution to drop the crazy-making expectation that we must all be perfect friends and perfect mothers and perfect workers and perfect lovers with perfect bodies who dedicate ourselves to charity and grow our own organic vegetables, at the same time that we run corporations and stand on our heads while playing the guitar with our feet?

When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days—with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents—I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around frantically, trying to find our way through. But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map. As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. We make mistakes. We take sharp turns, hoping to stumble on an open path, only to bump into dead-end walls and have to back up and start all over again. We push mysterious levers, hoping to earn a reward, only to learn—whoops, that was a suffering button!

The thrill of falling flat on your face (really)

To make matters even more stressful, we constantly measure ourselves against each other's progress, which is a truly dreadful habit. My sister, Catherine, told me recently about a conversation she'd had with a sweet neighbor who—after watching Catherine spend an afternoon organizing a scavenger hunt for all the local kids—said sadly, "You're such a better mother than I will ever be." At which point, my sister grabbed her friend's hands and said, "Please. Let's not do this to each other, okay?"

No, seriously—please. Let's not.

Because it breaks my heart to know that so many amazing women are waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning and abusing themselves for not having gone to art school, or for not having learned to speak French, or for not having organized the neighborhood scavenger hunt. I fear that—if we continue this mad quest for perfection—we will all end up as stressed-out and jumpy as those stray cats who live in Dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants, forever scavenging for scraps of survival while pulling out their own hair in hypervigilant anxiety.

So let's drop it, maybe?

Let's just anticipate that we (all of us) will disappoint ourselves somehow in the decade to come. Go ahead and let it happen. Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I've done it; it's survivable.) While you're at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet. Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted—by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you—trust me—for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes.

Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop.

Map your own life!!

By Elizabeth Gilbert who is also the author of Eat, Pray, Love and knows a thing or two about falling flat on your face, choosing the wrong guy, blowing up at your boss, and above all--waking up the next morning to do it all again, with a smile!

Ray Of Light Edited

Hi Everyone, Hope all is well with you. This is how I'm feeling today! Feeling like a ray of light, full of positive energy, because I think I have finally beaten my worst addiction, cigarettes! It's been two weeks and I feel better every day, I have tried to quit before, quite a few times, and have always gone back, but this time it feels different. I have not bought a pack of cigarettes like I use to to have in case I need one,(and I love all the money I am saving!) I actually feel more calm without them, that has never happened before LOL! But I think most of all I feel like I am just starting my life over and I want to live as long as possible, especially for my kids and grand kids, and feel good while doing it! Each year it seems my universe has gone by more quickly! I'm going to do my best to carry this feeling with me every day to help me keep winning my battles. So I wish for you today that you focus on the positive in some aspect of your life, and pass on that energy to those around you, be a ray of light for others, only good can come from being positive!
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

And I FEEL!!


Zephyr in the sky at night I wonder
Do my tears of mourning sink beneath the sun
She's got herself a universe gone quickly
For the call of thunder threatens everyone

And I feel like I just got home
And I feel

Faster than the speeding light she's flying
Trying to remember where it all began
She's got herself a little piece of heaven
Waiting for the time when Earth shall be as one

Quicker than a ray of light
Then gone for
Someone else shall be there
Through the endless years

She's got herself a universe
And I feel
And I feel like I just got home

Quicker than a ray of light she's flying
Quicker than a ray of light I'm flying!!

Had a great sleepover this weekend,
with the kids, it's so much fun being Mimi!


Bri's first snowman this year :)


Too cute huh!


Speaking of flying, don't mind the video is sideways,
no fear kids, no fear!

Love

Hello Everyone, Seems I have been busy these past few days. I will be even busier today playing with Bri, so here is a little inspirational poem for your day.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

A Creed To Live By

Happy Sunday Everyone, I love this inspirational poem, it is truly a creed to live by. I hope it inspires you too.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)



A Creed To Live By

Don't undermine your worth by
comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that
each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what
other people deem important.

Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things
closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life,
for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers
by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time,
you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible
to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope;
to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget
not only where you've been, but also where
you're going. Life is not a race, but a journey
to be savored each step of the way.

~ Nancye Sims ~

All In The Eyes Of A Boy

Hi Everyone, Hope your doing well this hump day :) Last night I could have stayed up all night watching each and every rescue. I got goosebumps and teared up each time I saw a man come to the surface. I was also fascinated with the video of them underground, simply amazing the technology today. Most of all I was so moved by this first rescue because when you see something like this it can't help but remind you of what life is all about. That little boys tears spoke volumes to me. How lucky we are each and every day to be able to hold our loved ones in our arms, life my friends doesn't get any better than that. And it reminds me that whatever I have to deal with in my life pales in comparison to what others have to endure. I truly feel these men have inspired the world with their strength. As one reporter said each rescue is like a rebirth, I couldn't agree more. God bless each and everyone of them and all those who helped bring them back to their families and their lives. I feel this song is so fitting of how everyone is feeling today.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

Two Step

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing great. I probably have posted this video before. But I am really feeling it today. I hope you do too. Celebrate each and every day my friends, because life is short but sweet for certain. Drink wine, not just water. Quench your heart and mind. Give your love what they are seeking and it will be returned to you ten fold. Can't wait until June when I get to dance live to this song with a crowd like this. From what my sister has told me we have pretty good seats!! Oh and always find time to Dance like no one is watching. I am today!!
Happy Saturday,
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Janet :)

Spark Your Happiness

Hi Everyone I hope you are doing well. I am doing good. I wanted to let anyone of you who listened to my video in the last post, there is a certain line in the song that Whitney sings that I feel sounds like she is saying someone to violate my love? But I looked up the lyrics and this is what is really say's "Had some angels to guide me, someone to lay on all my love" Just wanted to share that in case you heard that line like I did. Have you ever noticed that when you see a friend or family member glowing with happiness because they are going on a dream cruise, or they got a job that they truly love, Do you get a twinge of envy instead of true happiness for them. How is that we have learned to feel our own happiness is diminished by others happiness? It could be because we feel that happiness is limited within the world live which is not true. There is unlimitedness of happiness in our surroundings, our world in which we live. We probably are conditioned to turn a blind eye to the bliss we project onto others. So the next time you find yourself with that twinge because of your friends vacation or job let yourself feel the envy within you. Then let yourself bask in their happiness. Acknowledging this you will realize that your happiness is not diminished by their accomplishments or joy. Say to yourself, "May your joy spark the joy of others". Consider this as Breaking News to really let it sink in. Happiness in not a limited commodity! There is enough happiness to go around. We all have access to a deep well of happiness within.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)