Saturday, January 30, 2010

This Is It

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are doing well. I copied this movie for anyone who cannot afford it or are not able to get it where you are. But for some reason I am having trouble sharing it. I will keep working on that, so check back. It is so amazing I can't stop watching it. If this tour had gone on I truly believe he would have had his second chance and we all would have fallen in love with him again like we did when he was five years old. Speaking of falling in love again, thanks Pete for being so understanding and loving of me this weekend. Even when I fall from grace you pick me back up. I love and want you more now than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow. Your what a real man is all about and then some. I hope you take the time to watch this movie, you will be moved by his beautiful soul nonstop during this concert. You do not need 3D glasses to watch it. His children will be accepting his Grammy tonight, so get your tissues out!!! Geena told me about this website, it also has some really funny stuff, enjoy:) http://succeedblog.org/

Thanks for visiting my blog.

Take Care,

Janet :)












Friday, January 29, 2010

To Much Fun

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Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. I am having too much fun working at Target between my co workers and the public. The other day we had a lady flip out on us because we would not give her money back for a play station game that was opened and not damaged as she said it was. So this prim and proper lady who looks like she just the hairdressers yelled out "YOU SUCK", and then slammed our carriage into our one spot, we could not help but laugh our asses off after the shock of it!! I think someone forgot to take their medication. Evan who is a big teddy bear and works at our Starbucks section always makes up these huge sample trays for all of us to drink. We all have at least 3 or 4, the next thing I know I am feeling like I am back in High School and have popped a couple of black beauties, or did a couple of lines LOL! Yes the eighties were good to me:) The next thing I know me and Geena are talking a mile a minute, she could not stop bouncing a ball that was returned. Then Deb from clothing next door walks by and says she had 7 samples, so at this point the whole front end is buzzing and I love it. Target just starting selling bathing suits so I noticed lately that a lot of women are returning them and one of them said you need to get them now because all the good ones will be gone. So tonight I decided I better snag some for my vacation this year. I never thought as a Grandmother I would be able to buy a two piece bathing suit even though you only need one piece in Aruba LOL!, but now that I am down to a size 8/10 from a 14 it feels good, maybe I should get a belly piercing and a tattoo! Just kidding, I am not that brave. One thing about the Droid I am finding out is that it's battery keeps dying on me. As much as I charge it. Maybe it is not the Droid but maybe the battery I have. The picture I put in this post is blurry but it shows me laughing which is what this post is all about and I don't like to post without a picture. Anyway I hope you get to have the same fun where you work, always take the time to find the fun in every situation,
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Tips & Tricks for Hassle Free Styling

[source: Shake It Sheila

I have had my share of hair styles that never saw the light of day, they are usually hidden under a hat, or pulled back into a makeshift bun. These mishaps usually happen when I try a new product, fail to detangle properly, or skip adding condish to my hair [really bad move]. For those of you who haven't seen my hair vids, here's a short [yet useful list] of little tips and tricks I have learned along the way!

  • For styles that are free-flowing such as braid outs or twist outs, I like to use minimal amounts of products that are lightweight. This makes for fluffier, shiner, hair with lots of body. Now you can use a combination of products, however use them sparingly, and choose them wisely. Too much product can yield "dull" hair appears weighed down, and lacks movement. 
  • Get the hair uber CLEAN before styling, whether you use bentonite clay, sulfate shampoo, herbs, or baking soda, make sure the hair is free from residue before styling. Your hair will be shinier, and have more body if you start with a clean palate.  
  • Detangle hair only while loaded with conditioner. I usually condition for about 15 minutes to let the moisturizing properties penetrate my strands, THEN detangle, and finally sit back under my dryer for another 15 minutes. 
  • Make sure hair is detangled and conditioned thoroughly prior to styling. Also if you are braiding or twisting your hair, do so with caution; split ends galore surely awaits you if you aren't careful [believe me, I have been there and it 'aint pretty]. 
  • If you have tangle-prone hair, try shampooing and conditioning while in (4) fat braids or twists. This has helped me out IMMENSELY, and I know it has played a major role in length retention. Less hair lost and split while detangling = more retention. 
  • When you are shampooing your hair, use your fingertips not your nails to gently cleanse your scalp. 
  • Don't overdo it on the shampoo [because of the potential drying effects sulfates], keep in mind that some professional products do not produce a lot of lather. Try getting into the habit of using dime sized portions or less for each round of shampoo. Not only will you benefit by using less shampoo, you can also save your tresses from sulfate overload. 
  • If you have hard water like I do, it may be necessary to add an additional step to your regimen like an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse [do this after rinsing out your conditioner]. This gently gets rid of minerals and deposits left behind from your water. Other bonuses include restoring the PH balance of your hair, adding sheen, and sealing the cuticle which aids in tangle free styling.

I Heart Esperanza Spalding


I absolutely adore Esperanza Spalding! Her hair is a mass of lush, curly goodness, and her voice goes down smooth no chaser. Esperanza gives me Billy Holiday with an Afro-Cuban vibe, check out her videos below!



Affirmation


How ironic that a few hours after I did this post, I ran across this photo and quote from Erykah Badu.

“I know that I want to concentrate more on my inside-pretty than my outside-pretty, because that’s gonna go away But if your inside is beautiful, it never wears away. The light always shows on the outside if you are striving to be good inside.” — Erykah Badu 

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Woman Who Follows The Crowd Will Usually Go No Further Than The Crowd. The Woman Who Walks Alone Is Likely To Find Herself In Places She Has Never Been Before - Albert Einstein



I remember in the beginning of my hair journey I played it safe. My braid outs & twist outs needed to be neat, super defined, and most importantly they needed to be tamed. I was honestly afraid of what people would think of me, and didn't want to "scare" a lot of my ultra conservative friends. That surely isn't living for me, and I most certainly can't appreciate ME in all of my glory if I am constantly worrying about what others think. Not only was the decision to go "natural" a result of me wanting healthy hair, but it was also directly related to wanting complete and total perfect peace. I wanted to cease all feelings of insecurity, and be completely happy with myself as-is.

The more I started to accept WHO I was, the more liberated and free I became. Being liberated breeds happiness, it means an extinction of suffering, and desire, and replaces those feelings with that of contentment. I am no longer concerned with how people view me, you see I was created perfect as is. Those silly mores of beauty, and sex appeal mean nothing to me, as I was equipped with everything I could ever need at birth.


I love looking through inspiration pics of women who exude confidence, inner beauty and strength, and wanted to share those with you today.








Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Because of You My Friends

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. I came across this song I love from Janet Jackson when I was updating my videos. It made me think (I know not again, but it is one of many of my bad habits!!) of each and everyone that has crossed my path even if it was a short time or for the long haul be it the Internet or in my life. So in the spirit of love and friendship I made this video for all of you. Thanks to Facebook I have been able to reconnect with my friends from elementary to high school. Last night at work I did a return and it was one of my best girlfriends growing up, so we are going to get together again. It's amazing to me that you get what you need at different times in your life, there must be a higher power. I am so glad I starting blogging because now I have friends all around the world. I have such gratitude to all of you for your support over the past two years. With every visit, comment, and laugh together you enrich my life and make my day in ways I can never find the words to truly express what I feel. Your encouragement has helped me to keep on writing and open up in ways I have never knew I could, especially being raised a good ol' Catholic girl LOL! If I could I would hop on a plane and give you all a big hug and kiss. Know that once your in my heart forever you will stay there. Henry aka Soulmerlin you have been my biggest supporter with your comments and a widget of my blog on yours. Maybe someday me, you and Robin can watch the summer solstice together. Know that with every visit to your blogs you inspire me. Kimmy you have brought so much light in my life. Bing you have as well. Robin you write so beautifully and I love to hear your laughter. Donna your friendship helped carry me through the toughest time in my life when we worked together, and I love you for that. I can say this about each and everyone of you out there but I would have to write for days. These are just a few examples of how you have made me happier today than I have ever been. I am more comfortable with myself and It feels "Very Good"! It is so freeing to be yourself and not give a shit what others think LOL! I have to do counseling once a month in order to get my medication for my anxiety but my counselor considers me now a success story because she knows my life's story. So when I go we just shoot the breeze and she helps me with getting back to school and is trying to get me on the board at the local NAMI. I truly want to advocate for the mentally ill for the rest of my life because of my love for my mother. So even though she helps me, your friendship therapy has helped me even more and you have made her job a lot easier!! So it is because of you that I walk with more of a spring in my step and notice that the sun is shining a little brighter, so Thank you, Thank you:). I wish I shared Janet's looks along with her name, she has one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen, don't you think? Speaking of the Jackson's don't forget to go to your local Target and get your free 3D glasses for the Grammy's this Sunday, I can't wait to watch it. They will be showing Michael Jackson's This Is It movie clips. I saw the movie with Christa and it was amazing. This tour would have been one of his greatest by far. You also get to see the side of him that the media never shared. What a loving soul he was. If you are around my age the song Ben has some sort of special meaning to you. When he sang it in the movie I lost it!! Then he dedicates it to some people which made me lose it a little more LOL! I woke up this morning to news about my Toyota that now has me a little more nervous but I know my my guardian angels are with me. I am thinking of maybe leasing another car which stinks because I love my Rav :( I was so excited when I read my email last night. The Dave Matthew's Band announced their summer tour dates. They will be coming to Mansfield this June and it is a great place to see them according to my sister, every one tailgates and like I have said before it is like being in a Woodstock atmosphere. If you want to have some fun for yourself this summer, get a ticket! If you need more time to read the inspirational sayings, simply click pause. Have a great day!
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Best Kid Ever

Hi Everyone, I hope your doing well I am doing good. Except for the fact the Colts made it to the Superbowl and not the Vikings!!! Tiger is now up to #19 and counting, as his girlfriend said he is more a pig than a tiger!! Sex Rehab, let's get real and call it what it really is, Asshole Rehab!! Now that the Christmas season is over I have more of a set schedule and I usually have Sunday's and Monday's off. The past two days have been so fun because Briana was here. Her Dad had to fix his car in my garage. But I got to tell ya by the end of the second day I was ready for her to go home not because she was a bother, but I just couldn't take laughing anymore, between this picture and her pants on the ground performance we were in stitches and my stomach feels like I have been doing sit ups. Some of the fun of being a grandparent is watching your kid go through what you went through raising them. But I don't get that too often with Briana. Christa and Dana have lucked out when it comes to a well behaved child. Before she was two she would just start doing things on her own. One day she decided to start bringing her plate up to the sink after she finished easting. I still can't get my 16 yr old to do that. She puts on her own shoes, gets her coat, she does anything just about that you ask her to do. Recently she has started dressing herself and wanted to change her own diaper! We always play games and they are always fun, trust me teaching a kid it's mine can be a bad thing but she is nothing like that when it comes to sharing. Every time she gets a cracker for herself she gets one for the rest of us, she is always thoughtful of others and shy around people she does not see often like Scotty. After you watch these videos you will see she has a great sense of humor. She had to wear that shirt out of my laundry basket after she spilt juice on hers I was able to tie it in the back. Then she decided to imitate me after she heard me using the voice search on Google for Dolly's Daily Diary while wearing my glasses and using my Droid. This is now my wallpaper on my Droid and Computer:) She is like this on a daily basis too. Over the past two years when I needed it the most, she has breathed new life into my broken heart. The Google Droid as the kids at work say "is sick and they hate me" LOL!. I got two of them for $30 dollars with my upgrade after rebate. If your eligible for an upgrade I highly recommend getting one of these. I got the 79 dollar one and it does what the 200 dollar one does just as well. And now I can take these videos and do so much more with my cell phone. I have a 2009 Toyota Rav and it just got recalled because the accelerator has been known to stick. Mine has hesitated sometimes but never stuck and I know what to do if it happens, you just whip it in neutral. What upsets me is I let Christa and Briana drive it around while I was away because her car was having problems. Thank God nothing happened while they were driving, if something had you would have to just shoot me and dig a hole and bury me upside down so the world could kiss my ass goodbye!! On Tuesday nights they have started Entourage from the beginning, it is a great HBO series if your looking for something new to watch. It is all about the dirt that goes on behind Hollywood and don't we all love dirt. Once you start watching it you don't want to stop, sort of like the Soprano's.

Thanks for visiting my blog,

Take Care,

Janet :)



She Chose Ruby over me :(





Coffee time with Bri :)













Saturday, January 23, 2010

All Hope is Lost

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, Stories on the news don't often make my cry, but when I got home from work last night I heard all hope was lost for these twelve students. I couldn't help but shed tears. As I wrote in my daughters yearbook, two of the greatest gifts you can give your children are "roots and wings." And as a Parent when you get the courage to give them their wings you pray that they are never broken. Britney reminds me of my daughter. I can't imagine the parent's pain. They had so much ahead of them, so much to live for. God bless them for having the compassion to care for the people of Haiti. I am sure they have been given wings that are more beautiful than we could ever imagine. May they rest in peace knowing their short life was not in vain because they made a difference in the lives of people who were in need. They probably did more for humanity in their lives than any of us will do. I am going to make a donation in memory of them. I included a link for anyone who might want to buy the Hope for Haiti music from last night. Great songs for a great cause.
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)





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L to R: (front row - sitting) Paul Tyska, Lindsay Doran, Nikki Fantauzzi, Richard Bruno, Christine Gianacaci, Daniela Montealegre, Britney Gengel, Stephanie Crispinelli (back row - standing) Patrick Hartwick, Michael DeMatteo, Courtney Hayes, Julie Prudhomme, Thomas Schloemer and Melissa Elliott.



http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPreorder?id=351543699&s=143441

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Feel Like Making Love :)

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. Yesterday at work while doing a return a women asked me did you just get back from vacation? You are so tanned. I said I got back from Aruba in the first week of October. I have not noticed if I am still tanned or not, I guess you just get used to looking at yourself! I have always tanned easily thanks to my Dad I believe. He was always so dark in the summer. Anyway it got me thinking about Pete and I on vacation. We are all adults here and I figure it is ok to talk about intimacy. I have been with Pete for almost 27 years and I realize now that it took a lot to keep our marriage together because we never got to have real quality time to ourselves for 26 yrs except for maybe a few hours here and there. Mostly because we had no one to watch the kids. At this point in our relationship the kids are grown and we can get back to us. Then we were invited to go on vacation to Aruba with some friends. The trip was great for us. Every day and night we were so passionate for each other that sparks flew again and they have not stopped. I would suggest if you need to rekindle that in your relationship take a trip to Aruba or somewhere in the Caribbean. We can't wait to go back to Aruba again. True love and passion between two people is beautiful. I hope you all have that with the one you love. I love this video except for the clips of cookies or possibly rocks??
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)



Airing Tonight:)
MTV confirms more celebrities to join "Hope for Haiti" telethon, Madonna, Brad Pitt, and more

Posted using ShareThis

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Disturbed Edited




























P.S. I wrote this post yesterday before going to work. When I got to work wouldn't you know it, but my first return was a Turkey brought in from a cart in the parking lot. After searching for a code to defect it, I realized we don't even sell Turkey's!! So yesterday I was disturbed in more ways than one LOL!. I think I am going to get a lot of funny stuff from working there to post here :)

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well. I am doing good but I am so upset that Martha Coakley did not win the senate seat!! I was shocked. Time will tell if a major mistake was made. Some day's it hurts that at this point in my life I thought I would be in a different place professionally after working so hard in my 30's to get my Bachelors degree while raising my kids and running a day care. I was not able to go right to college from high school because of money. I don't like to be dependent on anyone. Especially if something happened to Pete I thought for sure I could take care of myself and my kids. My Dad has been gone since I was 23 and I felt I would have no one to turn to for help. But circumstances in life have kept me from pursuing what I really wanted for myself. But I have learned that regret is a wasted emotion and what is meant to be, is meant to be. So today I am surprised to find myself enjoying working in retail. I am making less money than ever, but it gets me out of these 4 walls. I also find myself having so much fun with my co workers and the public. People often tell us that they can tell it is a new store because everyone is happy and laughing together. But that is not the real reason, we just all click. Most of all I love to make people laugh, get a rise out of them and I get that opportunity quite often working at guest services and photo, for example last night, I had a tall handsome guy returning a women's bathing suit so with a serious face I asked him "Did it not fit right". When we both started laughing he said I knew you were gonna say that. I guess he could see my horns:) Sometimes the children are so adorable, sometimes they are screaming and you can't wait for them to leave! My sister loves Target and lives in Hanover so I see her more often and when she is done shopping she always comes and tells me where the good deals are. Her and my mom could shop until they dropped but not me, I just like to get what I need and get out. So I appreciate her doing all the foot work for me. It is the largest Target in Ma. My co worker Andy is about seventy and he loves to flirt. And who doesn't love a dirty older man, and when I see him he always makes my day! Even though their are people who can be so frustrating, the good out way's the bad. So I also have a sense of gratitude for where I am even though it is not what I wanted for myself. I have to be humble and realize I could be in a much worse place. Feeling this way keeps me positive and makes me want to keep working to better myself no matter what the circumstances are. The picture I posted above is blurry but you can tell it is a group of Turkey's. They have been coming around my house more and more and it is starting to freak me out. First we counted 12 of them now it is up to 14. One day when I got home and got out of my car they all just stopped and looked at me the same way, so creepy. Yet my hubby wants to feed them, I was like are you insane! Anyway if the group gets big enough I guess I can have a great Thanksgiving this year! Note to Kimmy, you got to laugh out loud on me today on facebook about the election, so cut me some slack here! Pretty soon in order to stay your friend without being a source of amusement for you, I will have to move out of state because of all our circumstances here LOL!
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Law of Attraction

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Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. Martha Coakley keeps showing up on my caller ID, I am so touched that she has the time to call me with her busy schedule LOL! She already has my vote. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to go out to the highway and wave goodbye to Ted Kennedy, I will never forget that moment. At least some Miracles are happening in Haiti as they are finding people alive amongst the craziness. Today I wanted to share with you the next two steps from 365 ways to live the Law of Attraction. The first one focuses on money, but you can use it for anything in your life you desire and want. Jim Carrey said on a talk show once he wrote himself a check for 1 million dollars when he was trying to make it so he is a true believer of the Law of Attraction. Heck I will try anything once, twice if I like it! I hope you get something out of these steps for what is needed in your life right now. In Memory of Martian Luther King Jr. I wanted to post some of his wise words. "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." The world is a better place because he was in it. I added some of my favorite Janet Jackson videos to my music. And I added some new funny videos from failblog, I love their website. http://failblog.org/. I hope you enjoy them too:)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care.
Janet :)

#9
Know that Anything is Possible
At first it may seem impossible that a person could shrink his debt, acquire wealth and grow that wealth as so much as his mind could imagine. But the Law of Attraction makes anything possible. There are myriad books, CD's, tapes, etc. to teach individuals how to get rich. Often such books offer ad vice about how to access your indebtedness, develop a financial plane imagine putting every step of the plan in place, visualize what's going to happen and actualize events. In this way the person accelerates the working of the Law of Attraction. Many people believe that divine consciousness permeates the universe and that when they align themselves in harmony with consciousness they become co-creators with the divine of their destinies. Individuals can tap into the realm of infinite potential and substance. Through their thoughts, they draw into their lives all circumstances, situations, relationships,experiences, and things. The process is continuous and unending.

#10
Your Imagination is a Powerful Tool
Whether dreaming or awake, the mink thinks in images and symbols. Proponents of the Law of Attraction say that when we can clearly imagine having what we most want, the Law of Attraction takes over and gives it to us. The time it takes for a dream to become reality doesn't really matter so much as getting the desired result. Some experts on the Law of Attraction have pointed out that as soon as someone begins focusing on the thing he or she really wants, the universe gets busy arranging or rearranging the necessary elements and circumstances to make manifestation of that thing possible. The process can be accelerated with a little planning.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Red Cross estimates 50,000 dead in Haiti quake

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. I wanted to post something funny today because it is Friday, but it just did not seem right for me to do so. Instead today I want to light a candle and pray for all the victims in Haiti. It breaks my heart to see so many lost, and so many suffering. I feel so bad for the Massachusetts family that was told their daughter was alright and coming home. Then told it was "bad intelligence". The father's pain is heart wrenching as he speaks on the news. The poem I posted below, is what I read at my mom's funeral.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Ebbs and Flows

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Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing good, I am doing great today. On Monday I learned I have a grandson on the way!!, estimated time of arrival June 10th 2010. The best news is everything is healthy with him. As I drove home from Christa's house which takes about 30 minutes, I cranked the song you and me by DMB and as I drove the sun sparkled through the trees and off the white of the snow, hearing "with our eye's closed were gonna spin through the stars", is so romantic to me, it gives me goosebumps :) I felt a new sense of inspiration and true happiness. I realized how much has changed for me during the past two years. It has all been change for the better. At this time two years ago just two weeks before my mother passed my mother in law had a heart attack and then they discovered she had lung cancer. I thought now how am I going to find the strength to care for her, being that she had no daughters after what I had just been through with my mother the past 17 months???. Plus within that time I lost one of my best friends Sue to cancer and Briana's other grandmother who I adored from cancer as well, both were in their 50's. I know they say God does not give you more than you can handle, but seriously!! I was ready to check myself in Pembroke Hospital because I could not deal with the pain and the suffering that had gone on for so long and what was to come. I just wanted to stay in a bed, take drugs that knocked me out and escape everyone and everything. At that point it would have been a nice change of pace! After my mother in law passed that May, I took care of all the financial things with the will for my father in law who never paid a bill in his life. Finally at the end of that summer I got to start my life over. Baby step by baby step I slowly came back to life after so much was drawn from me. So I find myself today loving this time in my life right now, no more suffering surrounding me. My kids are grown and have turned out good. I have so much free time for me, after raising two kids without much of a support system. I always loved time by myself, before the kids I would always take a ride to the beach by myself and just sit or walk and reflect. I can do that again. I am going to go back to school, I hope I can get in a Master's Program this fall. I would like to make some money and enjoy it before the grim reaper visits. Physically I feel great losing almost 30 pounds, thanks to the swine flu which through off my appetite and now I eat much less, I didn't lose it because of hard work on my part or exercise LOL! But now that I feel better I want to start working out, get into yoga like I have always wanted, get back to power walking. I feel secure in every aspect of my life and it is better than ever. I like the 40's, I would not want to change a thing in my life that has lead me to this point. Gratitude flows so freely as I survived the Ebbs. New roads lay ahead for me to take and I have no fear even if I walk alone because now I know my strength and I am capable of handling anything that comes my way. I wanted to just keep driving, even though I know I will keep feeling what I was feeling. I hope you have those moments in your life as well.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Officially Freaked Out

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am a little freaked out tonight, I did not want to post today, just leave up my mom's legacy, I have another post scheduled for midnight. But what happened tonight I just had to write about. I was working tonight at target where I just got hired a month or two ago, I took it because even with a bachelor's degree I had been sitting at home for months. I was hired for photo, but I also work in guest services doing returns and all that fun stuff, they are in the same area so when I have no photo's I work there. So tonight me and the ladies I was working with were all talking about our boyfriends and spouses. All of us were all kinda aggravated with them and one of them just had a fight with her boyfriend over the phone. So we are having fun talking about the situations. Then someone came up for a return so I did it. As I looked up at the person I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was the hospice nurse that took care of my mother until the day she died. It was a Friday morning two years ago and I was there early. I went out to the hallway while he got my mother ready for the day. Soon he came running out and said you better call your siblings now, I think it is a matter of an hour or two. He insisted I come right into the room and call them just in case. He was a love, he is a big jolly guy that came from Ireland. I loved his accent. I have not seen him since that day. So when I realized it was him my insides began to shake, my chest filled with pain and the tears filled my eyes. I had been doing so good all day. I told him you were the one who took care of my mother at the nursing home when she began hospice. He remembered her right away when I told him her name. I told him today was her second anniversary! He said she was lovely lady and she made my job entertaining because of the way she behaved. We always said she was the cat who swallowed the canary, she knew how to get what she wanted when she wanted it, No one messed with Joe we would say. Anyway the ladies were so kind to give me some time to talk to him and I gave him a hug and thanked him again for taking such good care of my mom. They also gave me a moment to go get it out and regroup. I managed to get through the rest of the night, but it was tough. They also thought it was strange. Thanks again ladies. I am the type that believes in signs, so I feel she let me know tonight she is still with me in spirit :)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A Mother's Legacy


March 19th 1936 to January 12th 2008

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, Tomorrow is the 2nd anniversary of my mothers passing. She was the reason I started this blog. It has been therapeutic for me to write about the grieving process with everyone and your support has helped me to heal. If you follow both of my blogs I just realized I wrote some of her story on my last post on stigma no more, I didn't time them to well, I don't mean to write to much about her but it is just the way it happened. The past year has been easier, I don't feel the pain physically as much I think because I don't have to see her suffer anymore. There are certain moments that I really miss her, when I am shopping at Marshall's and I see another mother and daughter shopping together, it always makes me tear up, we always enjoyed shopping there together. She lived right down the street from me in North Plymouth and when I get to her street it upsets me when I get the red light, because then when I sit there it makes me wish I could still just go down the street and spend some time with her like I always did. This year I tired to stay focused on the good memories, the laughs, her beautiful smile. Last year on her first anniversary I began thinking about what her legacy is to me and my family. In what light would I view her life to have been and what influence did it have in shaping who I am. My mother was born on St. Joseph’s day, thus her name Josephine. Her nickname was Dolly. I was told she was a very happy, bubbly baby and would make her mother laugh and laugh. Her mother stopped laughing when she was two years old. She died from stomach cancer. Her older siblings took care of her, but she always missed having her mother she told me. She graduated 2nd in her class, had an IQ of genius. She grew into a beautiful woman who was also a ballerina. My mother married my father at the young age of 20. Being a Catholic woman in those days meant for the most part that you stayed home and began a family. By the time she was 25 she had 4 children. The first three all a year apart. When the 4th child arrived, she had a nervous breakdown. I know I would have. All that work without much of a support system around her. I think she had a case of post partum psychosis or manic depression, that disease can have psychotic episodes. In the sixties they considered her schizophrenic. As we grew up she endured many years of shock therapy and did the Thorazine shuffle as I call it. Heavily medicated. One time she attempted to take her own life because she could not stand what was going on with her. She did not want to be sick, who would. The grace of God saved her and she continued on this path of illness until 1989. My brother Jim had taken my mother to Pembroke Hospital and she received a new treatment. They just put her on Lithium. When she came home we saw a new person emerging. It was like watching someone come out of a state of darkness and back into the light. She never went back into a Mental Institution again. She became much more functional than before, we would go out to lunch, we would go shopping together. She took care of herself like never before. She enjoyed her 10 grandchildren. The last 19 years with her were the best years of our lives together. So to get back to her legacy, I can see it clearly now. She was the greatest teacher I have ever had in my life. She taught me to be brave and endure what life hands you. Acceptance of others who are different from the norm and love them all the same. I learned forgiveness for not having the perfect childhood and realized she was really the victim not me as I often felt that way because she was not June Cleaver. She thought me compassion as she shared a story with me once. While in the Mental Institution suffering herself, she told me of a day where she saw another women screaming and suffering. She went to her room and said a prayer for her. That touched me in more ways than I can say. Even in the end of her days in the nursing home she demonstrated dignity to me. When they would come around and put bibs on them to eat, she asked me to buy her an apron. When I did you would have thought I bought her gold. I will never forget how happy she was to get such a simple item. I guess she also put gratitude in a whole new light for me. She also had a great sense of humor, I enjoyed many a laugh with her. So having thought about my mother’s legacy it is truly a beautiful one, one of Mother that taught me more than she will ever know. She has also left us with a big and beautiful family, 6 children, 10 grandchildren and one great granddaughter and her spirit lives on in all of us. My brother Jim gave me the song I put on the video I made. I edited it this year with a new picture of Bri. He really was the best son a Mom could ask for. He took care of her everyday. He always finds songs that truly fit our Mom. If there is Heaven up above I know she is teaching Angels how to love, Love that line.Thanks Jim for everything :) It is Sadie by James Taylor. I hope it plays well for you. Some parts may sound a little like a skip but I could not fix that. It still sounds good to me though. I can't understand why the thumbnail looks like it does?? Anyway,
Thank you for visiting my blog and reading this special post.
Take Care,
Janet :)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Robin Easton's Blog


















Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all doing well, I am doing great. I wanted to share this special friends blog with all of you. I met her through Soulmerlin's blog which I love as well. Robin is the sweetest soul although as you read below she tells me I am. She writes so beautifully and takes you along a journey in her life in Australia. As one person wrote on her blog

"Robin Easton's is a heroine's journey that, like all such journeys, risks
everything. The payoff is transformation and a discovery of her deep intimacy
with the earth itself. At a time when nature as we know it is in peril - and we
with it - we need Easton 's message as never before." ~ Larry Dossey, MD

So I hope you take some time to read her blog, you will leave a better person for taking the time to read her inspirational posts, and watch her videos. Once you hear her laughter in a video you will never forget it and you will have to laugh along with her, it is so contagious. She made my day, week and so much more when she left me this comment on facebook.
Thank you Robin,
You are a great friend,
Janet :)
http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/

Hey dear one, you are the sweetest soul anyone could ever know. I always feel so deeply loved by you or anything you share. I just wanted you to know that. Or else I am left laughing my face off. Either one, my life is made so much richer because of YOU. Know that. Also, every time I come here I just love this photo of you and Briana I think this is her isn't it?) She looks sooooo happy to be with you ecstatic. So do you.:)) Love, Robin

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Random Acts

Hi Everyone,
Happy Friday, I usually have to work weekends but I am glad I have this one off because the Patriots begin the Playoff series this weekend. I hope they can do good without Wes Welker. What a loss for the team. If you are still looking for a New Year's resolution you may want to follow this women's idea of Random Acts of Kindness or maybe not. I think this is one of the funniest videos I have seen on Youtube. Her face looks weird but you will understand why after you watch it. I think a good laugh is a great way to start off the weekend!! Hope you have a good one. I am looking forward to Monday for a change because I am going to the Doctor's with Christa and Briana and we will find out if she is having a girl or boy. When I asked Dana my son in law, what do you want this time, he said he didn't care as long as it was not both LOL! This was around the time they had that runner in the news trying to decide her gender. When I laughed he said there are more out there then you know, I just love him, he is such a good husband and dad. If you enjoyed the DMB music and would like to hear more of their music and a true sense of the atmosphere at their shows I suggest you watch the two step video in my music section.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

You and Me and Why I Am
















Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all doing good today, I was happy to find these two new videos by the Dave Matthews Band today. The Album Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King have been nominated for two grammy's. I hope they win both, the band reached a point that they almost broke up but worked things out and made this album in memory of their long time friend and band member LeRoi Moore, a saxophonist and founding member of Dave Matthews Band, who died last August from complications stemming from an ATV accident he suffered in June. He was only 46 years old. His nickname was GrooGrux King and he liked his whiskey. Dave has said his spirit is always with them on stage. My sister Karen is a Dave Matthews Band groupie and she got me into their music. We both belong to his fan club so we can get tickets every summer to go to their show. Some day we want to go out to the Gorge where he plays every year because it is so beautiful out there and it would be a fun getaway. They put on such a good show for the ticket price. They only charge 70 dollars and they could get much more. The scalpers get more per ticket. The show is always different and there is a Woodstock like atmosphere, a certain scent in the air and lots of dancing! Dave and his band also treat all the crew from top to bottom like family. They pay for all their kids to go to college. Not your typical rock band. So I would not doubt if some of them are in the you and me video following in their parent's footsteps. I enjoy watching the drummer, he always has a smile on his face. I hope you enjoy the music. I suggest watching the videos in full mode. Work has slowed down a bit now that the holiday season is over, so it is nice to have more time to blog.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)







Why I am
still here dancin with the GrooGrux King
we'll be drinkin Big Whiskey while we dance and sing
and when my story ends its gonna end with him
Heaven or Hell I'm goin there with the GrooGrux King.
That's why I am forever dancing with the GrooGrux King!
R.I.P. LeRoi Moore

Monday, January 4, 2010

Be Who You Must Be

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. I saw this inspirational saying on Photobucket and I loved it and felt the need to share it with you. This is how a true friend and or family member who truly loves you feels. And when you return this to them it makes for a great relationship. Have a great day!
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)


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