Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Power Of The Gentle Personality

Hello, I hope your doing good today! I am doing great. I actually got a call for a job interview! And not just any job, a job I really want! I don't like getting my hopes up, but it is days like this that help give me a sense of renewed hope, that I so need, in this haze of a job search I have been on. I'll share more about the job if it works out, just keep your fingers crossed for me, and maybe your toes too. Ya, I guess you could say I'm that desperate that I would ask you to do the toes too! When I came across this article today from Gerti Schoen, it was just what I needed to read. I know I have become more insecure about myself, more sensitive, over the past year and a half. The insecurity and sensitivity stems from trying to start my life over, achieving the goals I had set for myself a long time ago, but never had the opportunity to see them through. Reasons being from life circumstances, to my own mistakes. And even though I can honestly say I am at peace with the past and happy to be where I am at today, those insecurities just have a way of creeping up on me now and then. I have been sensitive to the fact that maybe I won't achieve what I set out to, maybe there is something I need to change about me to fit in somewhere, you know how it is when those negative thoughts start rolling around in your head! But thanks to this article by Gerti it has helped to give me a new perspective today. That being a sensitive, and sometimes insecure person, does not have to be a bad thing. It has just been part of the journey I need to take to be become an "actualized version" of myself. I like that don't you? Achieving an "actualized version" of ourselves. I hope this has helped you too if you are having any insecurities about yourself or your life as well.
Thanks for visiting,
Janet :)

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The first thing that absolutely must be said about introverts and gentle people of all kind is that we have a lot to offer. Many of us walk around with the nagging worry that being aggressive and flamboyantly extrovert is the way to go. That we have to change at all costs in order to be successful, noticed, appreciated and so on.

We don’t.

Gentle people can have very fulfilled lives. We find meaning and confidence in working hard at what is important to us. We crave connection with others and want to lend a helping hand. We are empaths, people who have the ability to put themselves into another person’s shoes, and thus create loving and harmonious relationships.

Most of us, in fact, have an artistic streak. I am thinking about the legions of young actors and artists who come to New York City, enduring rejection and discouragement seemingly without end, but they keep plugging away at their goals. They may not always end up becoming big movie stars. But they find the self-exploration that comes with the job rewarding and meaningful.

The sensitivity we possess may sometimes feel more like a curse than a blessing. But when employed skillfully, it enables us to create powerful relationships of mutual respect and inspiration.

Not all gentle folks are shy or socially awkward. Some of us are curious and outgoing, have lots of friends and always turn to new interests. But most of us do prefer smaller settings and one-on-one meetings to big gatherings. We crave the intimacy of a quiet tête-à-tête that enables us to focus on the deeper aspects of a conversation. We may come across as aloof, but nobody could ever accuse us of being shallow!

So no, you don’t have to become another person to enjoy life. If you are feeling bad about yourself, chronically anxiety ridden or inferior to others, it’s not about trying to be different, but to become a more actualized version of yourself. To bring out the talents that lie underneath the layers of low self-esteem and/or depression. To take pride in the skills and experience you have to show for yourself.

What it takes is persistence. Learn about who you are. Observe yourself. Write about yourself. Take pictures of yourself. Look yourself in the mirror. Be “selfish” – not as in self-centered, but as in self-aware. As those wise old men said: To study the self is to forget the self. You have to find yourself before you can be truly useful to others. It’s an exciting journey.

GERTI SCHOEN, MA, LP

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